


just an ordinary girl

by kwritten



Category: Wicked Lovely Series - Melissa Marr
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 13:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2813096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwritten/pseuds/kwritten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>being six (unrelated) ficlets about Siobhan the Summer Girl</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. everything in between

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kyallu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyallu/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan wishes there was a way to explain what she knows about what the Summer Court really needs. (It isn't love.)

On Donia’s first night as the Winter Girl, Siobhan tiptoed into her cabin with an olive branch of sorts. She’d watched the girl break into a million pieces only hours before and couldn’t imagine anyone being alone after something like that.

Donia sat on the ground in a corner of the room, her wolf already attached to her hip, arms around her knees and staring into nothing. Siobhan wheedled and cajoled and was overwhelmingly pleasant all things considered. (Except for that five minutes of yelling, which she apologized for and feels bad about. Really.) She never said a word and Siobhan said too many words.

Enough to last them the next few cycles of Summer Girls. Enough to guarantee Donia wouldn’t be surprised when Siobhan never came back.

When she shut the door of the cabin behind her and ran back to the warmth of the Summer Court, Siobhan wished she had had the courage to say the one thing that Donia needed to hear.

The one thing the Winter Girls never seem to understand at first.

 

_It was never about love._

 

 

She tried to explain it to him once – the need for a queen that would love the whole world he offered, not just his insubstantial fae heart. He was lying on her bed, sandy hair tossled in a way that should probably make her heart ache it was so childish and foolhardy, but rather made her more short-tempered with him than usual. He was so wounded when she snapped at him, his face falling into disarray at the thought that his heart wasn’t enough.

_Sell the world, Keenan. What is the heart of an immortal man really worth?_

She was still new. He still thought of her as his. He kept wooing her in a distracted, bored sort of way indicative of the bored child he was at the core.

_If you knew that, then why didn’t you choose the world?_

Siobhan shrugged, _Did it never occur to you that some women don’t want to be Queen?_

He left to lounge in a happier part of the Court and Siobhan grabbed a coat and went to a bar for a stiff drink.

She’s still human, after all. And sometimes her human heart needs the sharp bite of whiskey on her tongue and a soft girl’s lips on hers to keep a regular beat.

 

(Only she’s not human at all anymore.  
But she can’t remember what it used to feel like.  
And a hard bar beneath her elbows and a stiff drink in her hand feels close enough.  
So she takes it for what it is.)

 

 

Siobhan watched Keenan’s pursuit of her with varying levels of amusement and general disdain. She let him down gently and harshly and teasingly and brutally, but still he persisted. She danced recklessly in those days, fell in and out of love easily. 

She was a girl.

Just a girl. 

Nothing special, nothing outstanding. 

She liked that about herself. His insistence that she was special, a rare flower in the desert or something dripping with saccharine platitudes, seemed like a joke. A line that had worked on other girls but wasn’t about her exactly – just about his need to be something.

Except he was _something_.

And she was something… maybe.

But she didn’t love him. 

And so she became a Summer Girl. Light and mirth and passion, all the things that Summer promises held within her skin, blinding her heart until there was nothing left.

 

 

When Siobhan was new, very new, still clinging to her humanity with a stubbornness that bored the older Summer Girls and displeased her King, she took to the trees. And Rika found her every time. Softly calling her down and blowing icicles onto her cheeks with her laugh.

 _If I press up against you, will you melt or will I freeze?_ she asked once.

So Rika placed her cold lips softly on her burning ones. 

Siobhan found that the tears of an immortal girl are just as salty on the tongue as that of a mortal. 

 

 

The very next Summer Girl after Siobhan was a silly, playful girl in life as she was in her becoming. She took to the Court like flowers to a vine. She was a favorite of Keenan’s within a few days (his wounded heart recovered so quickly, it almost seemed as though it was never in danger at all) (that was her first clue). Siobhan took her hands and whirled her around in a dance as her long, dark hair streamed behind her, trailing after them, chasing them. 

 

 

 _It isn’t about love,_ she said to herself in the mirror over Aislinn’s head.

_Then what is it about?_

_Everything else._

 

 

When she was twelve years old she fell in love with the most amazing boy she had ever seen. He had dark hair and blue eyes and a grin that seemed both shy and daring at the same time. The kind of smile that would comfort you after you’ve fallen and would dare you to get back up.

She threw a handful of mud at him.

 _Love is confusing,_ she cried brokenheartedly into her sister’s lap, hands rough from work brushing through her hair delicately. Her sister was a grand age of sixteen and knew everything.

_Love is easy. It’s everything else that’s hard._

When she died, Siobhan hid in the back of the crowd and tried to will her eyes to cry. The burning light in her heart and skin wouldn’t let her anymore. She had been in Summer too long, her heart was all burned up. She let the earth fall between her fingers and land softly on the oak coffin. 

She threw herself into the Court after that, the last of her blood in the ground, and never looked back. She kept a close eye on the new Girls, kept them busy, helped them pass the time.

It’s everything in between that makes your body ache with want.

 

 

 _It isn’t about love,_ she whispered to herself as Aislinn took up the Hawthorne staff and the world changed and Summer got a Queen at last. _It’s about the hard stuff._

 _It isn’t about love,_ she whispered into Aislinn’s skin with her fingertips and tongue. _Until it is._


	2. mortal hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie and Aislinn have a scheme and Siobhan would rather not be involved

Siobhan looked down at Aislinn with her most superior expression, _You are joking, right?_

 _Why not? I think it’s a great idea._ Leslie’s face wore the kind of expression Siobhan has caught on Niall’s when he thinks he’s being sneaky or clever and she kind of wanted to throw a pillow at her.

 _I’m too old,_ she shook her head and turned back to the very important task of weaving wildflowers through Aislinn’s long hair. 

_Look, you know it has to be you, so you might as well enjoy it. What do you prefer: “Intro to Women’s Studies: 1950-present” or …there’s an Intro to Ceramics class!_

Siobhan rolled her eyes, _I’m not doing this._

 _You are and you’ll love every second of it. Even the terrible food,_ Donia’s voice is a little distorted coming through Leslie’s laptop perched precariously on the edge of the couch, but too regular of visits between the two Queens makes the weather pretty impossible and since it’s technically summer at the moment, the Court would go into an uproar with a visit from the Winter Queen. Siobhan was skeptical about the use of Skype, but it was a pretty regular thing now for the Queens to have each other on speed dial. She came into Aislinn’s rooms once and found her sitting on her bed painting her toenails and listening to something with a hard beat that reminded her of Ani while the laptop screen on her dressing table showed Donia reading calmly in a chair, bobbing her head to the music. _Are you two seriously just listening to music together and not talking or anything?_ Donia had laughed, _Believe it or not, Ash eventually runs out of things to say._ The resulting bickering had Siobhan running back to the simplicity of the Court and the Summer Girls’ dancing to no music at all.

 _When’s the last time you had a taco, Bo?_ Leslie wiggled her eyebrows at her. _There’s a taco truck that serves the most disgustingly greasy excuses for tacos you will ever have in your life. I got Irial completely addicted._

Siobhan cocks her head to the side, _Well… for tacos…_

From the edge of the couch she can hear Donia cackling, ice breaking in her throat as she laughs, and it is as beautiful and as terrifying as the bright laugh Aislinn can call on command now, _Oh man, she has you two completely wrapped around her pinkie finger. Do the Summer Girls run the Court now, Ash?_

Siobhan’s eyes twinkle, _Who says it was ever any other way?_

 

 

Turns out, Leslie was right about the taco truck. 

And that an Archeology class on Ancient Egypt fits into both Leslie’s and Aislinn’s schedules (after some quick class switching) (and a very firm “no” from Siobhan on “Intro to Drama: Monologues”) at Siobhan’s request. She remembers reading an article in a newspaper about the discovery of a tomb lost for centuries and it stuck in her imagination like a burr. It’s a bit earlier in the day than Leslie likes and she sometimes slouches in twenty minutes late or nods off at her desk. Aislinn gets in the habit of bringing her coffee and Siobhan makes three sets of flashcards before the midterm. Sometimes Aislinn brings her laptop and Donia’s face peeks out at the top of the screen next to the word document of “notes” her eyes wide and a little jealous. 

Of course, Court duties call and there comes a day when Siobhan sneaks into the back of the class alone for the first time. Usually she and Aislinn stake out a spot about three or four rows back. Close enough to the front that they can answer questions, but far enough back that Leslie’s varying levels of attention to the subject matter aren’t distracting to anyone else. But on her own in a classroom full of humans decades younger than her, Siobhan feels strangely conspicuous and sets herself up in the back. 

_send me your notes!_ Donia sends to her cell phone. They’ve been looking forward to this lecture for a while, the professor teasing at Nefertiti for weeks, but of course it comes on a day when Donia and Aislinn have to behave Queenly. Siobhan is under direct orders to take the best notes of her life and she’s prepared with multi-colored pens and a brand new highlighter. (A gift from Niall, believe it or not.) 

She’s busily scribbling as fast as she can, trying not to get lost in the slides and artifacts the professor seems to be juggling with impossible speed, and the hour goes by so quickly she barely has time to notice that she’s alone.

Except that when she blinks and leans back in her chair at the end of the lecture, she finds a rather large boy sitting next to her. 

Leslie has pointed him out before, in her lazy ‘he’s cute let’s talk about it’ way that she does. Something about him having an athletic scholarship, but that they had a conversation in the library or the student union and he wasn’t all that bad. 

He’s not just sitting next to her, he’s _looking_ at her.

One of the great things about traipsing about in mortal spaces with Aislinn is that she directs all the attention to her. And next to her, Leslie’s demanding vibrancy calls lingering eyes to her. Next to them, Siobhan disappears. Just as she blended into the Summer Girls for so long, flying low and steady under the radar.

She shyly scratches her chin on her shoulder, hoping that he’s actually looking at something behind her and then realizes that she probably got that move from one of the horrible teen flicks that Leslie and Aislinn have made her watch on movie night. So she turns back and does what she thinks Leslie or Donia would probably do in this situation.

She stares right back at him.

 _Pretty bad ass lecture, huh?_ He’s smiling at her and she is hit with the realization that back in the Summer Court she would have already spun circles around him, left him breathless and wanting, and would have trailed off to seduce someone else.

Humans are so not in her repertoire anymore apparently. She momentarily wonders how the hell Aislinn handled becoming fae and having a human boyfriend at the same time. 

_Uh… yeah,_ which is possibly the lamest thing she’s ever said in her entire immortal life.

Human Siobhan of the quick wit would have been so ashamed.

She stands up and so does he. Which leads to a really awkward ‘wow he’s like a hundred feet tall and like two inches away’ moment that she diffuses by adjusting her bag on her shoulder. 

_Where are your friends?_ he says as he trails her out the door.

_Oh … they were busy. Work stuff._

He nods, _It sucks working and going to school at the same time. My last job scheduled me during a midterm it was such a pain in the ass._

Siobhan hums in sympathy.

_So you wanna go out sometime?_

She stops. _You don’t even know my name._

_Your name is Siobhan and you hate 80’s movies and like green tea with honey and you color-code your notes._

_And you are a stalker._

He grins, _And I’ve been sitting behind you for an hour two days a week for about three months and you haven’t noticed me._

_Leslie noticed you._

_Also you and your friends don’t really seem to care if anyone is listening in on your conversations._

_So you’re asking me out?_

_I figured if I waited another week, the blonde one would punch me before I got within two feet of you._

Siobhan takes a moment. It’s not like she technically can’t. Faes play with humans all the time. One date won’t hurt anyone. 

It’s been a really long time since she went on a date.

The Summer Court isn’t without its pleasures. But a Summer Girl isn’t the first thing anyone thinks of when commitment is on the line. And dating isn’t really something immortal beings do on a regular basis. Awkward conversations about childhoods and future plans and bashful confessions over coffee don’t really apply to a world where time is relative.

Something lurches in her and she suddenly really wants an awkward and potentially awful first date with a charming boy a hundred feet tall with dark brown eyes and skin and perfect ‘I could chew on those for hours’ lips. 

_Yeah okay._

_Really?_

He looks as surprised as she feels and she nearly falters.

_This isn’t like a ‘She’s all That’ kind of a thing is it?_

His eyes glaze a second in confusion and then he laughs, _No! I just… I didn’t think you’d say yes._

_I’m probably more surprised than you, honestly._

He smiles down at her.

_But seriously can this be a sitting down thing because I don’t want to permanently injure my neck trying to look up at you._

_How’s coffee?_

_Yeah. Okay._

_I have a … thing today. How about Thursday after class?_

_Yeah. Okay_

He leans down and kisses her on the cheek, _Don’t change your mind, okay?_

She smiles and shakes her head. Her phone buzzes in her hand, _I gotta take this._

_I gotta bounce. See you Thursday, Siobhan._

_Bo!? How was class? Did that cute basketball player ask you out?_

_Ye—wait. How did you know?_

_Oh – Em – Gee girl he’s been checking you out for weeks. I think Ash caught him trying to smell your hair once._

_WHAT?!_

_But like in a cute way._

_What is cute about that?!_

_TELL ME YOU SAID YES._

_Oh… yes. I think I did._

_YES!_ there’s a clattering noise and her voice comes through a little muffled. _You owe me twenty bucks Miss Summer Queen._

_Ash?!_

_Sorry about that, Siobhan._

_You didn’t have a big Court meeting today!_

_We-ell… no. Not exactly._

_You set me up!_

_Leslie blackmailed me! I’m so sorry I really wanted to be th—_

_Ash?_

_\--ere but Leslie got Niall and Seth on her si—_

_Ash?!_

_\--de and they convinced me to just let it ride out and I—_

_ASH?!_

_Oh… what?_

_What am I going to wear?_

In the background, Siobhan could hear Leslie shouting, _I told you Donia – you both owe me twenty bucks! …. Yes EACH!_


	3. the queen's in mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan reminds Aislinn to put the safety of the Court first (but really is looking out for her Queen)

About a year after Aislinn’s grandmother passed, Siobhan brought up the idea of moving the Summer Court. It didn’t make sense anymore for all the Courts to be in the same geographical location, eventually they were going to start calling attention to themselves. She heard rumors that Donia was starting to think about doing the same thing, following Winter instead of waiting for it. 

_It will only make the Court stronger,_ she urged quietly. 

_I’m still healing, Siobhan._

_And I’m saying this might help._

_How?_

_Having Summer all around you all the time? How could it hurt?_

 

 

Aislinn resisted the idea of turning her Court into a nomadic tribe lost on the whims of the wind. But it was December and Winter was strong that year. Donia sent over Winter fruits to try to cheer Aislinn and the court, bright shining apples, kumquats, persimmons, and crisp Asian pears. Aislinn picked at them sullenly, distracted.

Which is just annoying, honestly.

 

Which is why one morning Siobhan comes into her room unannounced and rips the blankets off of her before sunrise and is completely chill about a guy being completely naked under there.

_Look, we’re going on a road trip and the boytoy isn’t allowed, cool?_

Aislinn throws a pillow at her, _Siobhan please stop watching re-runs of ‘The Real World’ it’s getting weird._

_I can literally throw you naked over my shoulder and drag you out of here cavewoman style or you can get dressed like a respectable person and come down on your own. Either way, we’re leaving in twenty minutes and I’m in charge of the radio._

About three hours into their drive, Aislinn leans her head against the window and says, _Winter is so beautiful, isn’t it?_

Siobhan reaches out and twines her fingers through her Queen’s. _Yeah, winter is pretty fucking beautiful. But so is Summer. And Summer is our job._

 

Their ‘little road trip’ is actually a few day’s journey all the way down the coast to the bottom of Florida. Along the way, they watch the world change, colors and fragrances passing like a kaleidoscope behind their windows.

When Ash is five inches deep into the Pacific Ocean, the wind whipping her hair around her head and her toes sinking into the sand, Siobhan says, _This is literally the warmest place I could get you to with a car._

Ash looks out across the water, _What if we flew?_

Two jets, 24 hours, and 15 phone calls later, the Summer Court lands in the Philippines. Aislinn’s white shirt sticks to her skin with sweat in seconds.

Siobhan can’t remember the last time she saw anything so beautiful.

 

Keenan calls worriedly within fifteen hours, is this forever? Are they coming back? What is the plan?

 _I’m in mourning,_ Aislinn says calmly into her cell phone. _So I’m taking my Court to where it can feel strong and secure. I’m staying where it is warm._

_There’s Winter in Asia, too, you know._

_We’d love it if you came to visit. What a lovely suggestion._

That night she leads the revels in the salty ocean, kicking up salt into her hair and twirling into the stars.

 

 

They wander until they aren’t lost anymore. 

They dance until they aren’t fighting for it anymore.


	4. girls without mothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything is in transition so Siobhan asks Aislinn for a small favor

It seems, in retrospect, timely and necessary that the Shadow Court and High Court underwent dramatic shifts in leadership shortly after Donia and Aislinn take their respective thrones. Siobhan may have been relatively ostracized to the Summer Court for most of her fae life, but everyone talks and she’s not stupid. 

Summer and Winter were in such static forms for such a long time, now they’re growing and shifting and changing. 

In a world made up of immortal beings any change is generally slow and arduous. 

All four Courts taking on new leadership within a year could have been catastrophic and when it’s all over and the world hasn’t completely fell into ruin and disarray, Siobhan goes to Aislinn for a favor.

_I know it’s bad timing, but actually it’s perfect timing…_

_What is it, Siobhan?_

_I want to go home._

Aislinn stares at her blankly. 

_To the place where I was born, home._

Aislinn nods and looks up at the calendar hanging above her desk, its habit Siobhan knows. The steady beat of the earth pulses in her veins now. She’s part of it in a way that no one else is.

Her veins being pulled in one direction just as Donia’s are pulled in the opposite.  
It suddenly doesn’t seem all that strange that once the King of Summer fell to his knees for the Winter Queen. Who else could truly understand their bones as well as their opposite?

_Well it’s late October now, which means Donia will be in full swing in a couple of weeks._

Siobhan shifts her weight, _You won’t miss me._

_Of course I won’t miss you. I’m coming with you._

Siobhan stares.

Aislinn’s smile falters, _It’s okay if I come with you right?_

Siobhan thinks about the Summer Court wandering around her little village and it nearly makes her sick to her stomach.

_Just me! I can’t be gone for long, but a couple of days… should be fine, right?_

 

 

Which is how Siobhan ends up taking the Summer Queen on a tour of her little village in the North of Ireland…

In November.

Which is also how Aislinn ends up catapulting herself into Siobhan’s bed at three in the morning their first night there. She’s like a little space heater that steals the blankets and throws all the pillows on the ground and pins Siobhan to the mattress with her long legs. 

At breakfast, which is a smorgasbord nearly equal in weight to their tiny old hostess at the B&B Aislinn found on a travel blog, Aislinn is practically chipper despite the cold and digs in with relish while Siobhan whines for more coffee. 

_Didn’t you sleep well?_ Aislinn asks around a mouthful of eggs.

 _Yeah I love it when my travel companion steals the blankets,_ Siobhan mutters darkly into her coffee. 

Aislinn giggles. _It’s so damn cold here._

 _No one asked you to come,_ which maybe comes out a bit harsher than Siobhan meant it to. 

Aislinn is silent and Siobhan is too grouchy to try to fix it. They pile into the rental car and Siobhan goes into auto-pilot, driving them straight to the little church in the center of the village. It’s drizzling – most of her memories of childhood are filtered through a haze of constant moisture – when she walks the familiar path down to her sister’s grave.

She doesn’t look back to see if Aislinn follows, doesn’t care either way. 

(Of course she’s only a step behind.)

Aislinn’s hand slips into her pocket to twine their fingers together. _How long has it been since you came to visit?_

_I’ve never seen it, actually._

Aislinn’s breath catches and Siobhan says a silent thank you when she stays silent. They stand there for as long as she needs, which may be minutes or hours or days. Their hair is wet, but that could have happened in seconds or hours around here. 

She heads back to the car and is a few feet away before she realizes that Aislinn isn’t behind her. 

She’s kneeling down, her hand reaching out towards the crumbling tombstone. Siobhan watches as she coaxes a small vine out of the earth, something that will bloom in the spring no doubt, and winds it around and around the stone. 

When she reaches Siobhan, there are tears streaming down her face. 

 

 _We can’t forget the ones that were left behind,_ she says back at the B &B, nestled into the pile of blankets on Siobhan’s bed. The Summer Girl climbs into bed with her Queen – even though it’s still the middle of the afternoon and neither of them are very tired. 

_I remember your mom…_

Aislinn draws in a shaking breath, _Do you remember yours?_

_Not so much._

Aislinn lays her head down on Siobhan’s shoulder and somehow the act of leaning into her makes Siobhan feel like she’s the one being held up.

 

They spend the rest of the afternoon watching videos of baby animals on Aislinn’s phone, their legs intertwined under their mound of blankets. 

 

For an afternoon they are girls once again – for the last time. Girls without mothers, girls that maybe never wanted anything from their lives than to be perfectly, simply ordinary, girls that breath mortal air.


	5. Autumn, Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> playing a little loose with fae-canon in this chapter; Aislinn learns more about her Summer Girls and how to be a good Queen, Donia reflects on the changing seasons

_What is that you do, anyway?_

Ash should have been writing a paper for her Sociology class – she and her grandmother were insistent that she still go to college and remain as ‘normal’ a teen girl as possible. Which meant midterms and papers being due on top of her duties as Queen. Which were as varied as ‘let’s go dance in the moonlight’ to ‘no we cannot build a mini-bar in the foyer’ on a good day.

 _With ARA formatting? I don’t know – I found a website that just plugs everything in correctly for me. I think there’s something about the paper that’s supposed to be different, but I missed that day because of …_ Ash looked up at her friend and pointed a highlighter at her accusingly. _You were supposed to take notes that day. You skipped, didn’t you?_

Leslie threw a Frito half-heartedly in her direction (a full 10 feet across the room) (someone was going to find that Frito in six months and try to eat it), _That’s not what I meant and you know it._

_Les I am not kidding where are those notes this paper is due in the morning!_

_Can’t you just have a minion do it?_

_Of course…_ Ash tilted her head to the side. _I mean I wouldn’t. But could I? Siobhan – could I?_

Siobhan was lying on the floor, trying to reach the offending Frito with one of her long arms, _I wouldn’t suggest it. I don’t think anyone in the Court knows the first thing about … what’s your topic?_

Aislinn looks down at the laptop, _’The Potential Implications of Wage Gap between First and Third Generation Hmong Immigrants in the Urban Setting’_

Siobhan held up the Frito triumphantly, _Would you trust anyone in your Court to have any knowledge at all about what any of that is?_

 _The point,_ interjected Leslie solemnly, snatching the Frito out of Siobhan’s outstretched hand and popping it in her mouth. _Isn’t whether or not she should or even would, but if she **could**_

_She can ask anything she wishes of her Court. A good Queen knows the limitations of her people. She knows the right questions to ask, to whom, and when._

_Okay then, Bo. I think it’s time I asked you something._

_Of course you can **ask** anything you wish._

_What exactly is it that you do?_

Siobhan unfurled her limbs from the floor to look her Queen in the eye, _Would you like me to show you?_

Leslie grinned wickedly, _This is going to be fun, isn’t it?_

Siobhan smiled back at her, _Yes, I do believe so._

 

 

Aislinn – in the months following her status change from Queen-with-a-King to Queen-completely-on-her-own-(omg!) – had been trying to get to know the fae in her court. She learned that they were not – as she sometimes felt when the new life and responsibility she now had chafed at her skin – flighty and emotionally insubstantial creatures. Nor were they any more dangerous than anything else that was wild.

Aislinn herself was beginning to find her own wildness. 

She learned, slowly but surely, that her fae were as connected intricately to the earth as she was. 

She liked to take walks in the moonlight – nearly alone but for her closest guard and sometimes Siobhan if the other girl wasn’t occupied elsewhere. One night, she noticed some of the trees nearest to the Court were wilting a bit. No one else would probably notice, as a human she _definitely_ wouldn’t have noticed. It was unsettling to see sickness, _sadness_ in her trees – especially so close to Court.

 _It’s catching!_ she exclaims to Donia at a coffee shop in neutral territory. 

Donia sipped her iced mocha slowly and silently as Aislinn vented about this strange and totally not-Donia’s-problem-not-problem-weird-thing. 

_What do you think? You think something, I can tell._

Donia looked out the window as a gust of warm wind kicks up a freshly-raked pile of golden autumn leaves and there’s something so beautiful about that, and so true – Winter and Summer sitting in a coffee shop talking about their jobs and their loves and their lives while outside the seasons changed more gracefully than any time in Donia’s memory.

_I was eating an apple last year around middle of November. It should have been fresh and juicy, exactly the right flavor. It wasn’t. It was mealy and tasted as though it had been sitting in an old cellar for months._

Aislinn sipped her hot cocoa, _And you figured it out immediately because you’re like the most bad ass Queen Winter has ever had?_

Donia laughed, _No. I ignored it at first, figured it was just a bad crop. Then it happened again and I started yelling – because that seemed like better than sitting around on my thumbs and pretending I knew what I was doing._

_It got worse._

_The next week it was the persimmons. I couldn’t even summon up a good snow flurry to scare my Court._

_You aren’t going to tell me how you fixed it, are you?_

_What would be the fun in that?_

 

 

 

They have near-weekly coffee dates. Sometimes Leslie tags along and regales them with ridiculous stories of her boyfriends that leave both Donia and Aislinn blushing like school girls. Siobhan likes it when Aislinn picks at her and Donia’s memories of the span of human history they’ve seen. She eats it up like a kid with a bowl full of ice cream and they tease her for being such a baby. Once in a great while they manage to catch Ani and she usually wants something harder than coffee which means pool and more giggling than usual (and it’s never _just_ -Ani which isn’t something you can really get used to over coffee). Sometimes it’s just Aislinn and Siobhan and they talk about nothing – about the books they’re reading or how to get coffee stains out of a white t-shirt. 

(Those are the days Aislinn secretly likes the best.)

A herd of teenagers – girls that looked no older than the three fae sitting at the secluded corner booth near the window – burst into the shop chattering about school or boys or holiday plans or a party and one had a bright orange leaf caught in her curly hair. Aislinn sighed deeply and smiled at them, their rosy cheeks and brightly patterned autumn knit-wear.

 _I used to be so resentful,_ Donia said with a smile. _I fell in love with the wrong boy and lost the full life I had been planning._

 _I was never normal enough to be anything but resentful,_ Aislinn shuddered. _I used to have the same conversations they are while pretending not to see fae out of the corner of my eye. There’s a lot in-between their words that you’ll never know._

 _And a lot you **can** know,_ Siobhan said to the paperback mystery novel in her hand. She was sitting in the booth next to them, feet up on the seat, back to the window, pretending to be bored – which she was now and then. _Listen like a fae._

Aislinn looked over the group with a more critical eye, one of them – the one with large doe eyes and straight black hair – had a pendant dangling from her neck of a pressed flower. From far away it looked like some kind of jasmine, but she couldn’t be certain.

 _Reach,_ Siobhan said in her pretending-to-be-bored-so-Ash-doesn’t-freak-voice. Which Aislinn now could recognize but still appreciated. 

The jasmine tingled on the edges of her vision, she could almost taste it in the cold autumn air – that little bit of preserved Summer. _Her brother is in the hospital. Leukemia. She skipped on visiting him today because she wanted to go shopping with her friends and feels guilty about it._

_The one with the leaf in her hair, she hates her stepfather. She wants to move to Arkansas with her grandmother but doesn’t want to leave her friends._

Siobhan leans forward and grins, _The one with the combat boots and black eyeliner hates combat boots and black eyeliner but found a picture of her dead sister in a cupboard and is trying to look like her._

 _She doesn’t know it’s because she wants to make her mother happier,_ Aislinn whispered sadly. 

Donia leaned back, her eyes twinkling, _Well that’s new._

 _No,_ Siobhan says – bored once again. _You are._

Donia and Aislinn giggle at each other and for a moment they are just three young girls in a coffee shop.

Laughing. 

 

 

It’s been about a month or so since Aislinn first noticed the drooping trees when Leslie asks Siobhan what it is that she does. She leaps at the chance to follow her confidant around into the world. 

Siobhan takes them to a club, which isn’t exactly what Aislinn was expecting.

 _It’s Winter,_ Siobhan shrugs. _Which means this is going to be a lot less delicate than it usually would be, alright?_ Aislinn nods and Leslie orders them a round of drinks with her fake id. 

It’s a little confusing at first, Aislinn has to admit later that she probably shouldn’t have been drinking on the job – fae metabolism or not. Mostly it just seems like Siobhan is wandering around the club aimlessly. She flits through the crowd, dancing a little here and there, the drink in her hand seems to constantly shift – like magic. It’s unsettling, like one of Aislinn’s worst nightmares from when she was a human – a fae dancing an elaborate ballet through the club with seemingly no purpose.

 _Holy shit,_ Leslie says right in the same moment that Aislinn figures out what is happening.

 _You grant wishes,_ Aislinn says drunkenly in Siobhan’s arms, they’re swaying in the middle of the dance floor and she can feel the earth calling to her in a restless sort of way because her defenses are down and she’s dancing and happy and the world is so light.

Siobhan laughs, _I pull on their pleasure points and heighten them a little._

 _You bring people together!_ Aislinn will be really embarrassed for shouting that in her Girl’s ear in the morning, but right now it seems like the right volume for sure.

_Summer is part of everyone, I just tie the threads together._

_Like CUPID!_ Aislinn flings out her arms and spins in a circle. There’s a slight unsteadiness to the ground she blames on the really really delicious drink Leslie ordered.

Leslie grabs one arm and Siobhan the other, _Alright Mother Earth, let’s get you’re drunk ass home before you bring the whole building down._

Out in the crisp air, Aislinn sobers up pretty quickly. 

Winter has that effect on Summer.

 _I made the ground move,_ she says sadly.

 _Only a little bit,_ Leslie is still blissfully almost-human and therefore still blissfully almost-drunk. Which means Siobhan has her hands pretty full. 

Which explains how she wasn’t able to stop Aislinn from climbing up one of the trees that she feels is so sad on the block outside the Court. Aislinn presses her cheek to the smooth bark and whispers to the drooping tree, _What’s wrong little tree?_

Leslie is sitting on the ground, cheerfully slapping Siobhan’s hands away as she attempts to get the other girl to start walking again, _Maybe you should ask someone who can actually talk back._

Aislinn practically flies out of the tree to land on top of Leslie, who giggles and punches her in the arm. _Oh you preciously perfect person,_ Aislinn kisses Leslie full on the mouth (and will blame the alcohol if anyone decides to ask her about that in the morning). _She solved it, didn’t she?_ she looks up at Siobhan with shining eyes.

_Took you long enough._

 

 

Knowing the problem and _knowing_ the problem are two different things. Especially since it’s technically Winter and so the whole Court is a bit more droopy around the edges. ( _Reach_ , Siobhan’s voice comes through, urging her on.) She can almost see the ‘threads’ that Siobhan was talking about at the club and starts to follow them through her Court surreptitiously. 

It takes her the better part of two weeks, but along the way touches and connects with more of her Court on a personal basis than she ever has.

It was a little heartbroken wood nymph. (Tavish found her, watched Aislinn wander through her girls for weeks without saying anything, but finally nudged her in the right direction at breakfast one day. The look Siobhan gave him was enough to kill. Aislinn laughed at them both – in private.) Her love had been lost in one of the battles. At night she climbed into her trees and cried to the moon, hiding her private pain from the Court and her Queen. 

Aislinn quietly pulled her closer to the Summer Girls, their passion a bright light in the Court even in the deepest nights of Winter. They loved having pets and pampered the poor thing until she brightened substantially. No one was the wiser to her pain or her loneliness.

At night, Aislinn went privately to the girl’s trees and healed them with her own strength, hoping that little bit would seep into her fae’s bones.

 

 

 _The Summer Girls aren’t just for pleasure,_ Aislinn mused from her hot bath a couple of weeks later. Her nymph had perked up considerably and she was feeling much more at ease with the Court than she had in weeks past. 

It was easy to think of the Court first and as a solid, whole thing that beat within her body when it was under threat. Once that threat was removed, Aislinn would be the first to admit that she grew neglectful. It was going to take some time, but she was finding a balance.

Between her Court and her Self.  
Between her small human voice and the wildness of her fae nature.

 _We are,_ Siobhan said from across the room, perched on the edge of Aislinn’s dressing table. _You are just learning that there is more than one use for pleasure._

_Do all the girls work the way you do?_

_We all have our own interests, maybe someday they will want to share theirs with you as well._

Aislinn sunk down under the hot water, holding her breath.

 

 

 

 _I figured it out, did I tell you?_

The weather outside was starting to thaw and warm. There were tiny sprouts of greenery poking their heads out of the earth. 

Spring, Donia thought, looked just as beautiful on them as Autumn. 

There was a feral bite to her beauty that Aislinn possessed at the height of Summer. And Donia knew just how sharp she herself was in the depths of Winter. Watching Aislinn brighten as the world did was as refreshing and comforting as watching her beauty calm itself at the beginning of Autumn. 

_You didn’t, but I wasn’t afraid._

_It doesn’t feel like we’ve been regents for the same amount of time._

_That’s because Ice Queen over here was fae for a lot longer,_ Leslie says as she plops down next to Donia, handing Aislinn her drink across the table. 

Siobhan sits down next to Aislinn (their knees just barely touching under the table) and hands Donia her frozen concoction. _Also, she’s got a few decades on you in terms of life experience. You’ll catch up eventually._

Aislinn pinches Siobhan in the side lightly, _Thanks for the vote of confidence, friend._

Leslie points outside to a couple of girls walking arm in arm outside, _Think they’re as violent with each other?_

Donia smiles, _Probably._

They watch the girls run across the street, their spring skirts swirling in the chill breeze even as the sun blazes down. Siobhan is overcome with a sudden feeling of complete comraderie. She feels just like those girls, sitting there in a booth with a hot coffee in her hand and her Queen pressed against her side and two friends across from her bickering quietly. 

Aislinn leans her head onto Siobhan’s shoulder and lifts her mug, _Let’s toast!_

_To what?_

_Friendship?_ Siobhan’s voice is shy and heavy in her throat.

 _To Spring,_ Donia says with a soft shake of her head.

They all smile brightly.

_To Spring!_


	6. fading away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter that was supposed to be smut but of course turned out being anything but; pure Aislinn/Siobhan shipping angst

**_The Summer Girls were like plants needing the nutrients of the sun to thrive: they couldn’t be away from the Summer King for long, or they’d fade._** ( _Wicked Lovely_ )

 

 

It might have been years, it could have been days, before she knew for sure.

Siobhan will never say for certain.  
(Except she knows exactly how long, in the pit of her stomach, it’s written into her bones.)  
(She’s not sure the last time she wanted something with this level of intensity.)

 

 

The Summer Girls are different with a Summer Queen at their helm than they were with a child for a Summer King – distracted by his pursuit of a perfect woman that couldn’t exist. The way things were – the Summer Queen in the height of her power, the Summer King now the paramour of the Winter Queen – it was ever more clear that the woman Keenan sought wasn’t his to keep.

It didn’t make him any less frivolous with his Summer Girls when he was King, his pursuit for true love.

 

 

Siobhan remembers that first night, the night she chose not to take up the staff, to become a Summer Girl. It wasn’t really a choice – ice or sunlight. She had always loved the sunlight. She liked to take her mending out onto the porch at dawn and watch the sunrise, even in the coldest winter months she sought out the rays of the sun like a lazy housecat, stretching up into the light as if it could solve her problems.

That night, sunlight seemed to burst from within her and seep out of every pour.

It filled her with a longing she couldn’t satisfy.

It lead her straight into Keenan’s bed.

As if she hadn’t specifically chosen not to be the thing that he pinned his hopes upon, as if there was any hope left in her to give.

 

What a pointless exercise.

 

 

It’s one thing to _say_ that Summer Girls are the embodiment of the passion and frivolity of Summer.

It’s quite another thing to _be_ a Summer Girl.

 

 

Aislinn is good to her Summer Girls, she hosts lunches with them and knows them by name, touches them on the elbow and shoulder as they pass in the hall, has grand slumber parties in her room with popcorn and silly music they can dance and sing to and sappy movies that make them cry and smile at the same time.

The Summer Queen is good to her Summer Girls because she treats them like girls first and like Summer second. (It’s the only time Siobhan feels like this instinct of her Queen’s is actually beneficial to the Court.)

The desperate _longing_ in the Summer Girls to cleave to the fae the way they did under the direction of the Summer King doesn’t quite go away – they are what they are – but their Queen feeds it in other ways.

In piles of Summer Girls on the floor painting each other’s toenails and braiding each other’s hair and listening to each other’s stories and joining their voices together in laughter and song in the most natural and beautiful way. In outings to parks and malls and movies and beaches; hand-in-hand giggling and twirling about and feeling _free_ but not desperately grabbing for more to sustain them.

 

Summer is strong now. She grows stronger all the time.

Siobhan starts to think of Summer itself as Feminine. As bright and fierce and sad and terrifying and beautiful in the way that blinding light can be all those things and more. The way Aislinn can be all those things and more.

 

 

The first time Siobhan dares to kiss her Queen, Aislinn pushes her away with an anger the Summer Girl would not have previously guessed her mistress had.

 _I am NOT Keenan,_ she bites out, her face red, clouds forming in the nexus of space above their heads.

Siobhan walks out slowly and surely, _No one has ever thought that, my Queen._

She manages to make it sound deprecating and scornful, when she feels weak down to her toes.

 

 

Aislinn goes on an extended visit to her grandmother’s tiny apartment.  
Siobhan stays a week with a human boy on the outskirts of town who likes to write her poetry and they ride his horses into the sunset each night like a fairy tale.

Only Siobhan wants the real thing.  
A faery tale.

 

 

Tavish dances with Siobhan under the full moon and Aislinn’s heart doesn’t clench in her chest. She throws herself into the waiting arms of her Summer Girls and pretends the one she longs for the most isn’t missing.

Siobhan is raw under her smile and the whole Court can see it. The Girls pluck at her hair and parade their boys and girls before her like barn cats offering their humans half-alive birds and rats. It’s an unfair comparison, but Siobhan has always been honest about what she is.

Summer Girls deal in desire, not in hearts.

They are cruel that way.

 

 

_I know that I’m not Keenan – that I can’t rule the way he did. But I’m Aislinn and the Summer Court chose me – it needed me for a reason. So we’re just going to have to agree to trust my instinct, okay?_

Tavish looks mildly wounded. _My lady, no one wants you to be Keenan. Have you heard any complaints from your fae regarding your leadership?_

Aislinn’s eyes flick briefly to Siobhan’s guarded face. _Just reminding everyone. Don’t want anyone to get ideas about what I need or want. When I need something, I will be clear and ask._

Tavish does not look at Siobhan. His eyes are steady on his Queen. He very wisely continues to play dumb.

 

 

Aislinn shows up at Leslie’s door with a bottle of wine and some brie, _I’m feeling childish so let’s drink wine and watch The Mirror Has Two Faces and pretend to be adults?_

Leslie is wearing an oversized button-down and no pants and her hair is wild around her head, but girl code says _emergency_ loud and clear so she steps aside, _We just have to kick my boyfriends out._

Aislinn walks in determinedly and really hopes everyone behind the door is clothed enough to avoid awkward conversations later. Niall and Irial are lounging on the couch in sweatpants and look like a pair of very satisfied panthers after a successful hunt.

 _Girl Code,_ Leslie says as she streams through the living room on the way to her bedroom to change (presumably). _I’ll call you later._

Irial raises his eyebrows and follows Leslie.

Which leaves the Summer Queen and the Dark King staring at each other awkwardly.

_Trouble in Summer?_

Aislinn sits stiffly in the chair on the other side of the room. _No._

Niall smiles. He’s getting more and more like Irial all the time. Though maybe he’s just embracing his role as the Dark King more. Either way, it’s unsettling. And the difference seems negligible at the end of the day.

_Yes. No. I don’t know?_

_Sounds interesting._

_It’s really boring actually._

_In that case,_ Irial interrupts, we’ll just be on our way and leave you two lovely ladies to your … cheese?

 _Cheese is important,_ Aislinn says weakly.

Niall stands up and pulls on the shirt Irial hands over to him, _The Dark Court is at your assistance if you need it, you know that?_

Aislinn blinks back tears, _It isn’t the Court, it’s just Me._

Irial and Niall bow in nearly perfect unison, _Then you need only ask for assistance._

_God you two are so cheesy. She’s not Gwenevere or a fairy tale – I’m pretty sure on a sunny day Aislinn can kick both of your asses._

Their smiles are identical, part mischief, all-consuming love. It makes Aislinn’s heart ache to see so much unfiltered _emotion_. They kiss Leslie on the cheek simultaneously and turn to leave. At the door, Aislinn stops them.

_Niall?_

He turns back easily, which almost breaks her resolve.

 _The Summer Girls…_ she can feel her cheeks turning bright red and she really hopes there aren’t any crazy weather formations above her head. _Can… can they **love**?_

 _Oh._ Irial is already halfway down the hall outside Leslie’s door, but he turns back to stare openly at her, his eyes suddenly guarded now that he is no longer in the cocoon of Leslie’s space.

Niall kisses Aislinn on the forehead, _You are a strong woman and a good Queen. I am honored to know you._

 _That is like… exactly the opposite of what I asked!_ Aislinn’s voice sounds shrill to her ears and she is nearly beyond the point of caring.

Niall is already walking away, _You already know the answer to the question you seek, my lady._

 

 

Aislinn finds Siobhan on a swing-set outside of a pretty elementary school on the outskirts of town. She’s tired and barely swinging, just kicking one foot out to push at the ground every few minutes.

_Keenan used to leave sometimes. Be gone for weeks at a time. It hurt all of us, him not being there. We couldn’t live without him near._

Aislinn sits on the swing beside her and keeps pace with her kicking.

_Tracey was always the weakest of all of us. A day without feeling the touch of his skin and she would noticeably weaken. The Court thought very little of it. The men passed her around like a doll, a weak kitten that needed to be fed, but not comforted._

_Tracey? She’s so…_

_So bright. So beautiful. So dynamic._ Siobhan’s eyes are boring into Aislinn’s skin. _**You** did that. You know her name, you know how she loves daisies and have them sent to her room, you buy her treats when you are out, you hug her when you see her. You brought out something in her no one ever thought she’d have: a chance at life. You know she went South for a month and came back just as healthy as the day she left?_

 _Of course I know,_ Aislinn bristled. __I **sent** her. You told me not to, but she’s the only one of the Girls that has the diplomacy to do what needed to be done.__

 ___I …_ __ Siobhan faltered. _ __I didn’t think she would make it back. Don’t you see?__ _

Aislinn drew in a shuddering breath, _ __If I am making the Girls stronger like you say – then why are you weakening? Bo, there are circles under your eyes and I’m afraid a strong wind will blow you right over.__ _

A tear fell out of the corner of Siobhan’s eye, trickling slowly down her cheek. Being a Summer Girl is like being hollowed out of everything you ever knew and being filled up with this light that constantly needs to be replenished. _ __I … No one really knew that we all need different things until you came along. Keenan… No. Me, too. I thought we were all the same, that the strength of the Court fed the Summer Girls. The King. But that isn’t all. Every **body** is made of its own passions. So every Summer Girl has their own needs.__ _

___You aren’t clones. You were all humans before, of course you need different things._ _ _

___You showed us that again._ _ _

Aislinn pushed at the ground with her foot violently, catapulting her backwards into the air, her hair flying around her face, _ __Then why are you so broken? How do we fix you?__ _

Siobhan laughed and it was the saddest thing Aislinn ever heard, _ __Oh I’ll survive I suppose. I just desire something I cannot have.__ _

Aislinn sighed and nodded in commiseration, _ __Your King.__ _

Siobhan grabbed the rope that held Aislinn in the air and swung her around to face her, _ __My Queen.__ _

They stared at each other for a minute.

___My beautiful, vibrant, adorably dense Queen._ _ _

__

The second time Siobhan dares to kiss her Queen the idiot creates a rainbow right over their heads in the middle of the day in an elementary school playground.

___You really need to stop being so conspicuous._ _ _

___You really need to stop taking your Queen off her guard like that._ _ _

___Good thing it’s Saturday, huh?_ _ _

___Shut up._ _ _

__

__

The first time Aislinn kisses her Summer Girl, she feels like a light is opening up inside of her chest, hollowing her out and causing desire to seep out of every pour. Had she thought to pull away and explain the sensation to her Girl, Siobhan probably would have said something rather sassy or rather sad about poetic justice. But instead, Aislinn just pressed her body up against the body that called out to hers.

(And yeah, maybe made a double rainbow.)  
(Which Niall does not snap a picture of and send to Leslie with the caption _told ya so_.)


End file.
